03-14-21 NBA Blog Train Pie Day Parlay

Honestly, we don’t get the Sunday Scaries anymore and never really have. In fact, we are of the mindset that Monday’s are exciting — a fresh start and launching pad to whatever is NEXT.

But even we cannot deny that having a 5-game parlay with a chance to hit on a Sunday is SCARY.

Parlays have never been our specialty. We actually think you are better off betting everything you plan to parlay, so if only one game burns you, you are still up.

This Sunday, however, we were feeling frisky. What better way to celebrate Daylight Savings and Pie Day but with a fine 5-game parlay on an overcast Sunday in mid-March?

  1. Heat at Magic Under 209

  2. Cavs at Hawks -5.5

  3. Rockets at Celtics Over 221.5

  4. Raptors at Bulls -3

  5. Clippers at Pelicans +180

Risking $30 to win $891.51.

Before we get to the games in our parlay, shoutout to the Thunder (SGA and POKU!!) and the Warriors for pulling out nice wins in the matinee games. Those were fun to watch. Steph was ballin’ on his b-day and Wiggins (!!) played a helluva game in addition to the Dub’s bench: Wiseman and… Jordan Poole!

And now, let’s Blog Train!





Game 1: Heat at Magic Under 209

The Heat defense has been ruthless lately, swarming opponents from every direction. The #1 defense in the entire league over the last six weeks, the Heat have held opposing teams under 100 points in seven of the last ten games. The Heat are also last in the NBA in pace over that time.

Add that to the fact that Magic are second to last in the NBA in offense, and taking this Under was something we did without hesitation. 209 is low, but not nearly low enough.

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Jimmy Butler won the opening tip jump ball vs. Vooch. He was very fired up, screaming and flexin’ on ‘em.

1st quarter: Heat 22, Magic 19.

41 combined points, on pace for 164.

This Under was seriously looking good the entire way, but the Magic woke up in the third quarter, in particular the usual suspects for Orlando: Vooch made five three-pointers (!!) and T-Ross made two 3’s in the quarter. We were still on pace to go Under after the third, but things were trending in the wrong direction.

At least we got to see the Magic injured bench gang!

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They were celebrating Vooch’s fifth 3 while we… did not do that.

Things were looking back up in the fourth quarter of a close game, yet the possibility of OT presented a problem. The Heat led by 3 points with 22 seconds left. The Magic had the ball with a chance to tie it…

T-Ross fired up a 3 that hit the iron. *Whew!*

But Aminu grabbed the rebound. *Oh shit!*

Aminu passed it over to Bacon in the corner who apparently didn’t know how much time was left, because he forced a line drive 3 that didn’t stand a chance. *WHEW!!*

But then MCW was somehow able to come up with another offensive rebound. *OH SHIT!!!*

MCW tried to pass it back to T-Ross at the top of the key, but there he was — it was that man again.

*smiles*

Jimmy Butler stole the ball and coasted in for a layup. No overtime up in here!

Heat 102, Magic 97.

199 total points = Under 209

Being nervous about OT made this one feel like a Squeaky Lock, but the pick of Under 209 points was pretty much a Pure Lock.

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Game 2: Cavs at Hawks -5.5

You might recall that the Hawks recently blew a game to the Cavs, back on a random Tuesday night in February about three weeks ago. So we felt this would be a Hawks Revenge Game. That previous Cavs-Hawks game was also one of the losses that ultimately cost Lloyd Pierce his job as head coach, and the Hawks have been flying high with Nate McMillan calling the shots, 4-0.

There was another Nate on our side tonight.

This was the second Nathan Knight game of the season.

In addition to this power dunk (which ‘Nique actually specifically calls a “power dunk” in the above second video), Knight finished with 16 points, 9 rebounds, 2 assists, 2 steals and a block in 23 minutes of work. We see you, rook!

The Hawks led by three points after the third quarter, but they absolutely flew away in the fourth.

4th quarter: Hawks 31, Cavs 16.

Hawks 100, Cavs 82.

The Hawks -5.5 was pretty much another Pure Lock. (But mostly a Solid Lock with Pure Locks *technically* being never in doubt.)

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Game 3: Rockets at Celtics Over 221

We took this Over solely on the grounds that the Rockets get blown up by good teams (the healthy Celtics are a good team) and that KPJ is finally suiting up for the Rox.

1st quarter: Celtics 38, Rockets 34. 72 combined points, on pace for 288!

Later on, the Celtics were up by so much, 36 points, that we must admit to being slightly nervous.

However, the fourth quarter was a garbage-time bench-scoring bonanza! There was a magnificent stretch where points were scored on seven straight possessions, which included four made 3’s.

4th quarter: Rockets 35, Celtics 30.

65 combined 4th quarter points!

Celtics 134, Rockets 107.

241 total points = Over 221.

This one was a no doubt Pure Lock, over by 20 points!

Quick aside on the Rockets: it’s pretty incredible that Houston has lost 16 games in a row, yet is still not in last place in the conference.

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A brief intermission for another Ant-Man power dunk.

Ya know, it’s pretty much settled now. Ant-Man really is THE most consistent power dunker in the league! Edwards scored 34 points to lead the T-Wolves in an impressive revenge game win over the Blazers.

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Game 4: Raptors at Bulls -3

The Raptors are still ravaged by the protocols, without three starters tonight in FVV, Siakam and Anunoby. If only there was some evidence that teams missing some of their best players due to the protocols would lead to subpar performances…

OH wait. That’s precisely what happened to the Wizards, Celtics, Mavericks and Heat.

The Bulls also needed to win a trap game, having lost to the 76ers without Simmons and Embiid last Thursday night. A revenge trap game, if you will.

The Bulls outscored the Raptors in every quarter!

The pinnacle was Denzel Valentine connecting on three straight 3’s for pretty much no reason.

We were FIRED up, fist pumping and jumping around, but surprisingly not as much as Valentine who was yelling viciously with a passion, perhaps because he’s breaking out of a slump. (We know the feeling.)

Bulls 118, Raptors 95.

Bulls -3 was a Pure Lock, never in doubt!

That’s 4-for-4 with the hardest one left to go…

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Game 5: Clippers at Pelicans +180

Going into this parlay, this was the game that we were most skeptical of. A Pelicans MoneyLine against the Clippers.

But it turned out to be the Purest Lock of them all.

Lonzo drained three 3’s out of the gate, carrying over the energy and momentum from Friday night.

Zion, as always, was unstoppable. Built like a rhino with the horsepower of a thousand F350’s, and as elusive as a humming bird, Zion was getting his easy lay ups all night. Big Z finished with 27 points on 13-of-16 shooting — “the monument of efficiency,” per Mark Jones.

To really cap it off, Jaxson Hayes threw down a serious power dunk! You fucking know that we were tapping our heads.

It wouldn’t be the Blog Train without your favorite segment. #8 for the Pelicans, Naji Marshall… WHO HE!? Marshall is a rookie from Xavier, a three-year college guy, undrafted and on a two-way contract. Tonight was his fifth game of the season, playing four minutes in garbage time.

The Pellies steamrolled the Clippers so bad that Naji Marshall was in the game.

Pelicans 135, Clippers 115.

That’s another Pure Lock!

FIVE-for-FIVE to turn $30 into $900!

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Five mostly Pure Locks — this Pie Day Parlay actually wasn’t too scary at all.

The real question now is what are we going to do with our winnings?

Hmmm, if only there was an upcoming event that was rather expensive.

Tuesday, April 13th: Lakers at Hornets.

We love this game!

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